


I’m Just Me

by princessarin



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 09:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessarin/pseuds/princessarin
Summary: Dan’s new roommate Arin gives him all kinds of confusing feelings, made even more confusing by the fact that Arin doesn’t identify as a boy or a girl.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ 
> 
> This is the first time I’ve ever written a fic, so I hope it isn’t too terrible, lol;; please let me know what you think, tho!

Dan hummed quietly to himself as he walked along, taking in the autumn colors tinting the entire campus. Really, he was trying to psych himself up. The new semester was about to start, and he couldn’t be much less jazzed about it. His major didn’t particularly interest him, and he knew that in a few hours he would probably just be strung out in his dorm room. 

With that thought, Dan reached into his pocket and fished out a piece of paper with his room number on it. Below it were two names… his own, and the name “Arin Hanson.” 

Dan wondered for a moment if Arin would be okay with him smoking in the dorm room. Not that it made much difference. If not in his dorm, Dan would probably find himself smoking in a friend’s room. 

Dan found himself outside of the dorms, and looked back down at the paper in his hand. The boys’ and girls’ dorms were completely split up, the boys off to the left and girls off to the right. 

Over to his right, not far ahead of him, was a girl. A hot pink streak ran through her hair, complementing the pink accents of her short skirt. She wore a simple white tank top, and Dan could see the slight muscle tone of her arms. Dan couldn’t see her face from where he stood, but he already felt an attraction to her. He wanted to know more about her, and he definitely wanted to see what cute face belonged to such a nice body. 

As Dan began to approach her, she suddenly turned and ran off to the left, towards the boys’ dormitories. Dan stopped, shocked for a moment. 

Of course she already has a boyfriend to meet up with, he thought, shaking his head. 

Dan couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t disappointed, but he knew he’d get over it. It was just a passing encounter, after all. She hadn’t even looked at him. 

Dan sighed dramatically, then started making his way down the hall towards the boys’ dorms. He scanned the room numbers as he passed door after door, until he reached room number 127. He looked down at the paper in his hand one last time to confirm his room number before swapping it for the room key in his pocket. The key was difficult to jam into the lock on the door, but after turning the key over several times, Dan managed to get the door open and stepped into the dorm room. 

The overhead light was already on, illuminating two beds and desks. On one of the beds was a suitcase; apparently Dan’s roommate had already been here. Looking over, Dan saw a closed door, and realized his roommate Arin was actually still here, in the bathroom.

Dan decided to start emptying out his own bag while he waited to meet Arin. He hung up some band posters, then started to transfer his clothes into his new closet. 

He kept an ear open, waiting to hear any noises from the bathroom. Dan finished emptying out his bag, then glanced at the clock; it’d been almost half an hour. 

Dan walked up to the bathroom door and knocked. A surprised squeak came from the other side of the door. Dan leaned towards the door to speak. 

“Hey, sorry man, just wanted to make sure everything’s okay in there… uh, I’m Danny. Your roommate.”

There was an uncomfortably long beat of silence. But then, the door handle turned, and the door opened an inch. 

Through the crack in the door, all Dan could see was a streak of hot pink hair. Before he realized what he was doing, Dan pulled the bathroom door open. 

Standing there was the girl he had seen earlier, pink streak and accents and toned arms and all. But as Dan stared, he no longer saw a girl. Looking into this person’s face - his roommate Arin’s face - Dan saw nothing but a man. 

“Um… hey.” 

Dan jumped when Arin spoke. “What, did you just fall for me or something?” Arin continued. 

Dan laughed nervously, and fuck how long had he just been staring? He quickly realized that Arin had probably been joking, and quipped back, “Well, it’s your fault for looking so sexy.”

Before Dan could question if he’d just taken things too far, Arin busted out laughing. “Dude,” he said between his laughter, “you really think I’m sexy?”

Dan froze, again unsure just where this was going. Arin stopped laughing, but kept his big grin, and said, “Don’t worry dude, I’m just joking.” 

Dan let out another nervous laugh. 

“So, you said your name was Danny?” Arin asked. Dan nodded.

“That’s not the name I remember seeing on the paper... “ Arin said. He slipped past Dan towards his bed, sitting down and crossing his legs in a way that Dan could only think of as lady-like. 

“Are you fibbing? Be honest.” Arin teased. 

Dan took a moment to process what Arin had asked him, feeling a familiar warmth in his chest. 

“Danny is my middle name. No one calls me by my first name.” Dan said, trying to appear easy-going, when in reality he was feeling a whole slew of confusing emotions. 

“Danny,” Arin snorted, “your face is red as shit.” 

Fuck, was it? Dan laughed and said, “I told you, you’re just too sexy!” Arin laughed again, too. 

“Shit, I think I left something in the car.” Dan said suddenly. 

“Oh, dude, do what you gotta do.” Arin said. “We can talk more about my sexy bod later.” He winked.

Dan laughed before leaving the room.

Outside, it was starting to get dark. Dan leaned up against the building and took a deep, grounding breath. He hadn’t forgotten anything in the car, he just needed a minute to think. Arin seemed like a nice guy, but the way he made Dan feel was unmistakably like having a crush. 

It’s just because you thought he was a girl, Dan told himself. 

That’s all it is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin is nervous about expressing himself, but he's hoping that his new roommate Danny will be okay with with it.

Arin waved out the window of his car to his parents as he drove off. As he drove out of sight, his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. 

 

Today was going to be an important stepping stone to Arin’s future, the future that he wanted. Not the future that his parents wanted, not even a future he had told anyone else about.

 

Arin sighed and ran a hand through his hair nervously. He had been attempting to grow it out for the last few months, and so far it was shoulder length. The hot pink streak running through it was new; he had just dyed it the night before. His mother had gone silent in shock when she saw it, and his father had laughed.

 

“I figured it would make a good conversation starter at school.” Arin had lied. Glancing up to the rear view mirror now, Arin wondered if he should’ve told his parents the truth… but he didn’t feel like it was the right time. Maybe someday… but not today. Not right before starting college, when their hopes couldn’t have been higher for him.

 

Arin pulled over to a gas station on the side of the road. He reached over to the passenger seat and grabbed the shopping bag sitting there next to him before getting out of the car and walking into the gas station. He made a beeline for the bathrooms. 

 

Stopping in front of the restrooms, he looked between the two: the men’s and the women’s rooms. Without realizing it, he reached up to rub his jaw, which was squarer than he wanted. Then, Arin took a deep breath and walked into the women’s room, ducking his head down low as he did. 

 

He glanced up and saw that the bathroom was empty except for him. Sighing with relief, Arin entered one of the stalls. Inside, he reached into his bag and pulled out a new outfit: a white tank top and a skirt with pink accents on it. He shed his hoodie and jeans before putting on his new outfit. 

 

Arin stepped out of the stall and stood in front of the sinks, looking at himself in the mirror above them. He had seen himself in this outfit plenty of times, but never in public, only in the comfort and privacy of his own bedroom. He gulped and pulled a piece of paper out of the pocket of the jeans that now sat in his bag. 

 

_ Room 127 _

 

_ Arin Hanson _

 

_ Leigh Avidan _

 

Arin looked back up at himself in the mirror. He smiled and stuck the piece of paper back in his bag. He was growing hopeful that his roommate Leigh would be open-minded. 

 

Arin made his way back to his car, filled up his tank, and then continued on his way to his new campus. 

 

Aside from the nervous and excited thoughts running through Arin’s head the entire drive, the trip wasn’t very eventful. 

 

When Arin arrived on campus, the sun was just starting to set. He looked up at the yellows and oranges and reds of the trees and sky and smiled; the campus was covered in trees and surprisingly beautiful right now. 

 

Arin carried a small suitcase in one hand and the paper with his room number in the other, checking it again before heading to the dorms. 

 

He stopped in his tracks when he saw the signs pointing down either hallway of rooms. 

 

Pointing to the left was an arrow and a sign that said, “Men’s Dormitory”

 

To the right, “Women’s Dormitory.” 

 

Looking back at his paper frantically, Arin saw that his room number coincided with the room numbers of the men’s dorms. He suddenly felt sick, realizing that Leigh must actually be a boy, not a girl like he had assumed. 

 

Suddenly, Arin heard someone else walking up behind him. He felt a rush of adrenaline and booked it for his new room. 

 

127.

 

Arin saw his room number and tried to jam the key in the lock, but it wouldn’t fit. He grew panicked, and heard footsteps again. 

 

_ I shouldn’t have done this _ , he thought,  _ I’m an idiot, an idiot!! _

 

Finally the door popped open, so abruptly that he was shaken from his anxious stupor, and Arin ran into the room and shut the door.

 

He found himself in pitch blackness. He reached around blindly until he felt a lightswitch on the way and flipped it. The overhead light came on, blinding him for a moment, before he heard the doorknob moving and jumped. 

 

His roommate was obviously having trouble with the lock, too, and Arin took advantage of the situation and ran into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. 

 

_ Why am I hiding? _ He thought, gripping his head. _ I thought I was done hiding!  _

 

He heard the door to the dorm room open, and he froze.

 

_ … I gotta make sure this guy’s cool first. I’ll just change clothes. _ Arin thought. But then he realized that he didn’t have his suitcase with him; he had left it out in the room. 

 

With no other options left, Arin just opted to stay in the bathroom, praying that Leigh would leave again so he could retrieve his suitcase. 

 

It felt like an eternity passed, and Leigh still hadn’t left. Arin started to wonder if he’d gone to bed or something when he heard a knock on the door. He jumped and let a yelp. 

“Hey, sorry man, just wanted to make sure everything’s okay in there… uh, I’m Danny. Your roommate.” came a voice through the door. 

 

Arin felt sick. His voice wouldn’t come out, and he realized he was taking way too long to answer. Slowly, he reached for the doorknob, pushing the door open a sliver. 

 

_ I’ll just tell him I’m sick. It’s not even really a lie, _ Arin thought. 

 

And then before he could even get a look at his roommate, the door was thrust open from the other side.

 

Arin found himself face to face with his roommate, Danny. Danny stared at Arin, and Arin waited for insults, violence,  _ something _ ; but nothing came. Danny seemed too shocked to speak.

 

Arin had to say something. He’d always been told he was charismatic… and he needed charisma now more than ever before. 

 

“Um… hey.” Arin said, finding his voice. To his surprise, Danny jumped, like he hadn’t expected Arin to speak. 

 

_ Be cool. Be funny. Just say something!  _ Arin’s head shouted. 

 

“What, did you just fall for me or something?” Arin asked. He immediately felt embarrassed, but that was his normal sense of humor in action.

 

Dan laughed and said, “Well, it’s your fault for looking so sexy.”

 

Arin started to laugh, too, more out of relief than anything. 

 

They started talking, and Arin realized that Danny wasn’t just cool with him, he was cool in general; they had a similar sense of humor, too.

 

Suddenly, Dan excused himself from the room, and Arin decided to go get some rest. 

 

Once in bed, Arin thought about how lucky he was to have gotten a chill roommate. But, he had no idea if everyone at this school would be quite so open. 

 

Arin sighed, burying his face in his pillow. He needed to get some sleep. His first class was early in the morning, and he didn’t want to be too tired for it. 

 

By the time Danny came back into the room, Arin had already dozed off, exhausted by stress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, I wrote chapter one when I was totally sleep deprived;; and I have to say, this chapter was much easier to write after a full night of sleep, haha. 
> 
> Also, thanks so much to my friend Terra for proofreading this chapter~!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin decides to tell his friend Ross about how he's been feeling lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this chapter!! I hope you all enjoy it!

Arin woke up to his alarm going off. He reached over and silenced it, before remembering where he was and looking over to the bed on the other side of the room. Huddled in a nest of blankets was his roommate, Danny. 

Arin looked down at himself now, and realized that he had not only slept on top of the covers, but in his day clothes. He shook his head in mild embarrassment, then sat up and picked up his phone. He had one new text, from his friend Ross.

“hey Arin, did you make it to uni okay?”

Arin smiled and typed, “yeah.”

Ross replied quickly: “what’s your roommate like? is she cute?”

Arin glanced over at Danny, then typed, “it turned out to be a guy, but hey he’s not bad looking :b” 

Arin trusted Ross with a lot, including that he was bisexual; in fact, Ross was the only person that Arin had come out to about that. 

But, Arin thought with a twinge of guilt, Ross still didn’t know about Arin’s current confusion over his gender. No one did.

Arin set down his phone and began rummaging through his bag for an outfit. Moving quietly as to not wake his roommate, Arin stripped down to his underwear and laid out a dress and cardigan on his bed. But, as he picked up the dress to put it on, he began to feel nervous. Surely not everyone would be as accepting as Danny… 

Deciding against the dress for now, Arin instead put on a floral t-shirt and jeans. Not overly masculine, but also not a dress.

Arin left the room as quietly as he could and made his way out of the dorms and to his first class.

Arin felt nervous as he walked to class, as if all eyes were on him. 

Calm down, he thought, you didn’t even wear the dress today.

And yet, he was quickly pulled from his thoughts when he distinctly heard the word “gay” shouted near him. 

Arin had no idea if that had been shouted at him, or someone else; hell, it could’ve been a part of someone’s conversation for all he knew.

But, it was enough to get his heart racing nervously. 

The walk to class felt far too long after that, despite being somewhat short in reality. Then, finally, Arin arrived at his destination. He quickly seated himself away from everyone else. 

Arin jumped as his phone dinged in his pocket. He pulled it out and quickly muted it before seeing that he had a new text from Ross.

“so did the pink hair start any convos yet?” 

Arin typed out a reply without thinking much about it: “nah, i haven’t even talked to anyone yet. too nervous”

“what’re you nervous about? you’re like the most social person i know”

Arin’s head snapped up from his phone as his new professor called for all the students’ attention. Arin put his phone back in his pocket and turned to watch the professor. 

Arin tried to ignore his phone, but he could feel it vibrate in his pocket. As soon as the professor finished talking, Arin pulled his phone back out and read another text from Ross: “are you ok?”

Arin typed the word “yeah,” before deleting it and stopping to think about his reply more. 

“i actually need to talk to you about something… can we skype in a bit?”

“of course, man”

Starting to feel nervous all over again, Arin made his way back to his dorm room. He had decided that he was going to tell Ross everything, as anxious as the thought made him. 

When Arin arrived back in his room, he found Danny listening to loud music through a pair of headphones, his back to Arin. Arin wondered for a moment what band Dan was listening to, but he didn’t seem to recognize it. All the while, Dan didn’t even seem to notice him walking in. 

Arin shut the door somewhat loudly to get Danny’s attention. Dan turned around quickly, smiling widely when he saw Arin.

“Hey man!”

Arin smiled back, and the two fell into a casual conversation while Arin got out his laptop, sitting down on his bed with it.

“Do you have homework already?” Dan asked, looking down at the laptop.

“Nah, I was just gonna make a skype call.” 

“Oh, did you want me to…” Dan motioned towards the door. 

Admittedly, Arin did want to make this call privately, but he also felt bad about possibly kicking Danny out.

“I should probably get going, anyway.” Dan said, standing up and picking up his backpack. “Gotta get to class soon.” 

The way Danny was speaking seemed awkward now, and Arin realized it must’ve been obvious that he wanted to be alone. Unsure of how to reply, he just nodded as Danny left the room. 

Remembering what he was doing, Arin navigated to Ross’s profile and pressed the call button. He had expected a few moments to ready himself, but Ross answered almost instantly, as if he had been waiting at the computer. He looked concerned.

“Hey, Arin. Is everything okay?” Ross asked.

Arin shrugged, but he also couldn’t help but smile a little because he had such a caring friend. 

“Okay, so this is gonna sound a little weird. Okay, maybe a lot weird.” Arin started, playing with his hair nervously. Ross leaned forward in his chair intently. 

Arin sighed and continued, “And I’ve been feeling this way for a while now. Like, for months.”

Ross nodded slowly. 

“So…” Arin looked away from Ross, over at nothing. “I kinda feel like a girl. But also, not at all like one.” Arin glanced at Ross, but Ross’s expression hadn’t changed. 

Arin looked away again before continuing, “I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling really confused and anxious about it.” 

“So… what exactly does ‘feeling like a girl’ mean…?” Ross asked, his expression unreadable. 

“Um… well, I wore a skirt to campus yesterday, even though I was terrified to do it…? It’s just things like that I guess.”  
“You wore a skirt?”

“Yeah.”

Ross looked like he was deep in thought now. “Look,” he said, “I really don’t want to say the wrong thing here… honestly, if you wanna wear a skirt, more power to you. I just… I don’t want someone to try starting trouble with you.” 

“Yeah… though, my roommate, Danny, he was cool with it.”

“The cute one?” Ross asked, suddenly grinning. Arin laughed now, and from there the conversation felt much lighter. 

Ross went on to ask some more questions, most of which Arin wasn’t quite able to answer yet; he was still unsure about a lot of things. 

“Well, just remember that I’m here if you need to talk.” Ross said finally. “And your roommate sounds like a good guy, hopefully you can talk to him about this, too.” 

The call went on for a few more minutes before Ross had to go. After ending the call, Arin closed his laptop and laid down, feeling exhausted. 

But, he also felt as though a weight had been lifted, now that someone finally knew about all of this. Arin thought about what Ross had said, about talking to Danny about this as well. But, Arin decided, he wasn’t quite ready to explain everything to Dan yet; just having his acceptance was enough for now.


End file.
